The process of attachment is the crux for our most important relationships. Psychologically, many people relate the attachment theory to parenting. After all, it is how children learn to construct emotional relationships with their parents, friends, and the world around them. However, studying emotion in the field of partner relationships is a great way to strengthen the connection between couples. Emotionally focused therapy, initialed as EFT, is exactly what it sounds like: therapy that is centered on emotion. It aids in uncovering underlying problems in a relationship, which could have strong emotional ties. The EFT process demonstrates that emotions are key in a relationship, and it is often weak emotional connections that can create distress between two partners.
EFT takes place over the course of numerous sessions. Over this time period, there are numerous stages that the couple can reach. The first is called the stabilization phase, during which the partners attempt to acknowledge their issues and connect them to recurring negative emotions. Defining this connection creates an awareness that can strike deep in your mind. It is the duty of the therapist to create a welcoming and open environment for the couple and bring their awareness of both positive and negative forces in their life, which will often lead them to identify the key emotional moments that cause stress.
The second phase deals with building from the bottom up. Now that the problems in the structure have been identified, the therapist works with the couple to rebuild the emotional connection. During the phase, the couple will recognize what they need in order to feel emotionally secure, individually and for the other partner. With this mutual understanding comes the structuring of a game plan that will consolidate a strong base for empathy. The couple, with help from the therapist, can brainstorm exciting ideas that will continue to strengthen the emotional bond.
The third phase is called the integration stage. This final phase examines the old problems in the context of new solutions, and the following questions might be asked: How can we apply our new solutions to our former problems? What can we do if problems arrive? What have we learned that might prevent future issues? The couple’s new empathy must be integrated into their daily lifestyle, hopefully generating new behaviors that work for both parties.
EFT is a process that has been validated by decades of research, by numerous scientists and psychologists. It uses both emotion theory and attachment theory to explain what causes issues in relationships, and how best to solve them. By following these phases gradually and carefully, an entire relationship can be restructured. Imagine the relationship to be a house that needs renovations. The relationship remains the same, but by the end it is genuinely improved and ready for any problems that it may face. EFT is a thoroughly strategic process that has given thousands of people success; it is truly a method to understand and know your partner, and discover more about yourself.