Every couple is different in its own way, but everyone will experience hard times eventually. Every relationship has its bumps, its rough patches, and its doubts. For decades, many psychologists and other scientists have been wondering: what is it that keeps a couple together? What is the secret glue, or the “peanut butter,” as some call it? Are there special routines or phases that divide doomed couples from successful ones? Many people think yes: there are things that you can do to strengthen your relationship, and that will lead to success in your romantic life, as well as your personal one.
Many relationships, after a few weeks, months, or years will fall into a “routine,” the same-old, same-old. Humans like to seek out new things and excitement; naturally, we are curious. Never let boredom take over your relationship. Passion and spontaneity can be the deciding point for a couple—be excited, be happy, and seek out new things to experience together. Successful couples are also physical: hug, kiss, cuddle, make love. While a strong mental and emotional bond will hold couples together, a physical connection should be present as well.
Fights and arguments will also come to a relationship, no matter what. It is healthy to argue every once and while, but out-of-hand arguments can be dangerous. Simple fights show differences in opinion, and the reconciliation can often make your love stronger, but when serious blaming gets involved, it’s time to take a step back. Remember, your relationship is not an “I,” it’s a “we.” Solve problems for yourselves, not yourself. If you both take accountability and responsibility for any problems you have, you are sure to emerge from an argument in a better state than you were before.
But what is the true crux of a relationship? Well, most people say communication. With talking and listening comes understanding and empathy, and this will do wonders for any couple. At the simplest level, say “I love you” daily. Renew your affection for your partner every single day, and never let them forget how you feel. While this is considered a “routine,” it can also be mixed up by using notes, words, a phone call, anything to remind your partner of your feelings. Some experts also claim that not enough couples talk about their finances, which of course is one of the most important aspects of life and a shared relationship. Opening up about your finances represents trust, and healthy conversation about money can be constructive for both parties.
But in addition to the money talks and the daily love notes, you need to talk with your partner. Not just about movies or your favorite food, but in-depth discussions are the one thing that divorced couples said they lacked. Successful couples have deep, passionate discussions—about life, about the future, about their hopes. This does not need to happen every single day, but every once in a while these conversations will reaffirm the trust, security, and connectivity in your relationship.